Most
people when verbally attacked first get defensive and then are apt to explode
with anger. Neither of these reactions produce collaborative results…and, after
all, isn’t collaboration the goal of a productive, cooperative team? How can
you rein in your natural inclination to retaliate when a co-worker says
something that is critical of you?
1.
Breathe deeply. Breathe first to force a pause before you try to defend yourself against the
offensive comment. Then breathe again to prevent yourself from lashing out in
anger. Your first two thoughts, one defensive and the other offensive, will
only exacerbate the situation and do not belong in a professional setting. Rise
above your co-worker and seek to work with rather than against them.
2.
Try to find a
solution. Reiterate the goal of your work together and re-focus the discussion on the
common end game. By re-stating what you are trying to accomplish as a team, you
are much more likely to find ways to collaborate. Leave the nasty comments
where they belong…in the dirt.
